posted 5 days ago
"You must call my penis ‘El Diablo’” - Guy on Baggage (GSN)"
— Really….your penis is called ‘the devil’? I can’t stop laughing at this!!!

dwqe:

You guys are welcome.

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OMG these are so awesome

#4 is definitely going to be used by me daily.

My mom actually taught #7 to me as a kid lol

I’ll so try these

p-adfoots:

It’s not much, but it’s a home. I Think is Brilliant.

lulz-time: tony-starks-beard: if there was ever a metaphor for my life This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

lulz-time:

tony-starks-beard:

if there was ever a metaphor for my life

This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

awesometriathlon:

assgod:

image

Megan was right

thugkitchen: fuck putting a tealight in a pumpkin. I’m Batman, bitch. want a bomb ass jack-o-lantern like this shit? get yourself a fucking pumpkin. carve it up any way you god damn well please. (set pumpkin seeds aside to roast them later. tasty as hell and makes your house smell like a fucking yankee candle factory) just make sure you carve the lid large enough to fit a roll of toilet paper. when you’re done carving your shit, soak an entire roll of toilet paper in kerosene (or lighter fluid). I recommend pouring about a half a quart of kerosene in a bucket and placing the TP inside, it will absorb within ten minutes or so. I also recommend doing this step outdoors in the shade where there is ventilation. when the sun goes down, torch that bitch. the TP will burn slow and flames can get up to 4 feet high. leave the lid off the pumpkin, otherwise it will diminish the flames. obviously there are a handful of dumbasses that see something awesome and hurt themselves in the process of recreating. so I shouldn’t have to remind anyone to keep a bucket of water or working garden hose nearby. if you’re dumb enough to do this without taking proper safety precautions then I hope you catch fire too. remember, a safe thug is a happy thug.

thugkitchen:

fuck putting a tealight in a pumpkin. I’m Batman, bitch.

want a bomb ass jack-o-lantern like this shit?

  • get yourself a fucking pumpkin.
  • carve it up any way you god damn well please. (set pumpkin seeds aside to roast them later. tasty as hell and makes your house smell like a fucking yankee candle factory) just make sure you carve the lid large enough to fit a roll of toilet paper.
  • when you’re done carving your shit, soak an entire roll of toilet paper in kerosene (or lighter fluid). I recommend pouring about a half a quart of kerosene in a bucket and placing the TP inside, it will absorb within ten minutes or so. I also recommend doing this step outdoors in the shade where there is ventilation.
  • when the sun goes down, torch that bitch. the TP will burn slow and flames can get up to 4 feet high. leave the lid off the pumpkin, otherwise it will diminish the flames.

obviously there are a handful of dumbasses that see something awesome and hurt themselves in the process of recreating. so I shouldn’t have to remind anyone to keep a bucket of water or working garden hose nearby. if you’re dumb enough to do this without taking proper safety precautions then I hope you catch fire too. remember, a safe thug is a happy thug.

the-absolute-best-gifs:

This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

theanimalblog: Red on White. Photo by emyan

theanimalblog:

Red on White. Photo by emyan

glowinthedarklyts:

im-deadpool-god-dammit:

I love how majestic the bald eagle looks from the side

image

but from straight on it just looks scared and confused

image

that’s most Americans.

thewicked-eternity